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Forgiveness-What You Need to Know
by
Kay Montgomery
Forgiveness is a difficult subject, not because it is complex, but because it is simple. One either forgives, or one does not. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that eats away at our vital parts until the only thing left is a hard, stony spirit that can no longer hear the voice and leading of the Father. We have the choice to wallow around in hurt and shame for as long as we want, or we can experience freedom and release as soon as we choose. I am reminded of the Pharaoh before whom Moses stood during the pestilence of the frogs. Frogs were everywhere- in the beds, in the bathrooms, in the cooking pots-and the Pharaoh asked Moses to get rid of them. Moses asked the Pharaoh when he wanted the frogs to leave. I'm pretty sure I would not have wanted to go back to my house and face all those frogs any longer, but the Pharaoh asked that the frogs leave the next morning.(Exodus8:1-15)The people of Egypt spent another night they didn't have to with the frogs. My prayer is that all of us will choose to get rid of the frogs NOW! Let us not spend another night with them.Please read on. I've been as direct as possible in this section. If you find I've been too it too harsh, prayerfully consider the things I've said for I have spoken in love. Matthew 6:12;NIV
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Mark 11:25;NIV
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Matthew 18:21;NIV
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Luke 17:1-5 ;NIV
Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves.
“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
Forgiveness.
This is one of the most difficult and crucial aspects of prayer. Because we live and work with others, eventually someone is going to say or do something that hurts our feelings. It may be unintentional, or it may be cruel and mean, but, either way, something will happen that hurts and offends.- We will get hurt and offended. Jesus promised offenses would come(see Luke 17:1.) We should not be surprised when they do. If there is serious injury, death, or betrayal, it is harder to forgive because we think it reasonable to feel hurt. Yet, the scripture is clear, we must forgive.
- We must forgive. I struggled with this for many years until I realized that, when Jesus suffered and died at Calvary, all that offense, all that emotional pain, all that hurt was placed upon Him.(Isaiah 53:6) The payment, or judgment, for all those offenses was taken care of, then. When we accept Jesus’ sacrifice at Calvary as payment for our sins, the Bible says we are counted as dead to the world and to the old life. Dead to sin but alive in the spirit. (Colossians 3:3, Colossians 3:3) Dead people do not suffer offense. Do you want a productive and satisfying prayer life? Resolve right now to forgive everyone.
- Forgiveness includes forgiving ourselves. All of us have failed to live up to our own ideals. We've hurt other people and we've hurt ourselves. Maybe, we've not taken advantage of some opportunity, or maybe, we've made some terrible misstep in our life. We can wallow around in the pain and recrimination for as long as we want, be it days, weeks, or years, but when we are ready to be free, we can forgive ourselves and get on with a victorious life.
- Do whatever it takes! I ball my hands into fists and clutch them in front of my chest, holding tightly to all the offenses and hurts of the moment, or the day, or the week. Then, I push all of that up and out, extending my arms and opening my hands into an imaginary star-burst. I often sound out a “pow” or a “boom” to give emphasis. The hurts and offenses are blown up-fireworks style. They are gone. I am free.
What am I doing? This is an exercise I use daily or several times a day to help me release offense. I do this exercise when I’m at home, when I’m walking in a store, or wherever I am when an offense or hurt comes to mind. No matter if someone sees me and thinks me a little nuts, the only thing that matters is that I let it go as quickly and completely as possible.- Do it by faith. Letting people “off the hook” in our hearts and minds is never easy. We are so used to holding onto hurts and offenses that, even when we determine to let them go, it can seem impossible. We have to ask God to help us and we have to do it by faith that all has been taken care of at Calvary. What do I mean? When we make the conscious effort to release hurt and offense, we accept by faith that it is done. We don’t wait until we feel like they’re gone; they are gone the moment we decide to let them go. When the thought of these things return to our minds, we have the choice to accept them back or to let them stay gone. Every time we think about a hurt or offense, even if we’ve already dealt with it, do it again. I do not allow myself to accept again the things I have released unto the Lord. I find that, by physically acting out the release, I am empowered in my choice. I may have to do it several times, or almost constantly, at first, but gradually my conscious mind accepts the decision I have made, and it becomes easier.
- No Excuses! You don’t understand….I was right!…I am justified….I just can‘t! I can hear all of these excuses now. No matter the why or the how of what happened, our unwillingness to forgive indicates a refusal to accept Jesus’ work at Calvary. We are only indulging in self-righteous pity, and it stinks! Do you think this is harsh? Read the above passages again. Jesus is very clear about the fact that our own forgiveness is predicated upon our forgiving others. If we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven.
We cannot afford to hold onto these things; they poison our spirits and keep our prayers from being answered. The consequences are too severe. Do whatever it takes to let go of all that.
Blessings,Kay“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. Matthew 6:14-15; The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language, Ed 3.
